I'm Sorry For Your Loss  / Traci Barnai (mommy 2 vanessa )
I am so very sorry for the loss of ur beautiful daughter,& the saddnes u r left with,Stefanie is a very beautiful girl and I'm sure she's even a more beautiful angel,Her memory will live on and she will live on in ur heart 4ever,Keeping u and ur family in my thoughts and prayers,God Bless
Traci,mommy 2 angel Vanessa



I made this for you in memory of Stefanie 4she will live on in all
the hearts she touched,xxxxxxxx 

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Thinking of Beautiful Stefanie  / Krystal Duss's Mom== Jo Ann Webb (friend)

Thinking of Beautiful Stefanie


Death Ended Your Child's Life,
But Not His or Her Relationship to the Family

In 1983, I wrote a two-part article for the [National TCF] Newsletter called "Commitment to Survival" in which I
described parent bereavement as a complex process that includes mothers and fathers maintaining a relationship with
their dead child. Specifically, I wrote: "Death ended your child's life but not his or her relationship to the family" and
"You give up the old person who was physically connected to a now deceased child and make different connections with
your child who has died."

I received many letters describing how bereaved parents had been criticized and even ridiculed by others for
expressing their continuing love and connection to their dead child. You told me you copied the articles and sent them to
friends, relatives and people in the work place to let them know that it was "normal" to want to talk about your child. You
also told me that in your opinion, maintaining a sacred bond to your dead child was vital to your well being.
From 1983 to the present, I have conducted a number of studies with both bereaved parents and siblings. Findings from
these studies indicate the ongoing connection you have to your dead child is a catalyst and an enduring energy which
sustains one through the most intense time of grief and gives survivors the courage to face loss that bereaved parents and
their living children must endure. The deep pain of grief comes with a deep introspective searching for answers to
agonizing questions about why your child's death had to be part of your life and about your shattered dreams.
Research shows that this period of grief is characterized by feelings of hopelessness, profound sadness, aching
loneliness and a belief that you will not and cannot ever be happy again. Physical reaction may include fast heartbeats,
shortness of breath, and a sense of fear or panic that more bad things will happen to other loved ones. Many bereaved
parents expressed feeling angry, blaming themselves and others for their child's death. You spoke of being preoccupied
with endless thoughts and feelings about the circumstances surrounding his or her death and the difficulty of coping and
adapting to your new, permanently changed lives. You said that this was a time of "feeling confusion about who you
were, not knowing yourself anymore and feeling detached from others" and how these thoughts and feelings demanded
and used up the little bit of energy you had each morning.

Grief work is infinitely private, painful work. Part of you died with your child and now you must struggle with letting
go of your old self as you endure the unknown of who you will become. One newly bereaved parent described this
process by saying, "I liked who I was before my child died. I don't like who I am now. I barely know myself."
In the beginning of grief you were consumed with the myriad reminders of your child's life and death. As time
passed, you found occasional peaceful respites from grief as the episodes of deep grieving gradually became less frequent
and intense. Finally, you described knowing you were having more good days than bad. This marked the beginning of
leaving behind some of the suffering and sorrow of intense grief and having the energy available for keeping and
cherishing the love and connection you have to your dead child. Surviving the struggle with death and finding life again
renews energy and is manifest in your becoming stronger and better able to cope with your loss. You gain a realization of
having become more tolerant of yourself and others and becoming a part of life again.
The hardest work of becoming a survivor is learning to live without the physical presence of your dead child while
simultaneously learning to live with his or her emotional and spiritual presence. You find that meaning in your life is
derived from your relationship to those you love, including your dead child. The legacy your child has left is a love that
transcends time and space.

by Nancy S. Hogan, RN, PhD
Dr. Hogan is an Associate Professor at the University of Miami
(Reprinted from the TCF National Newsletter)
-Reprinted from the Nashville April 2007 Newsletter

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Loving you Stefanie Suzanne  / Mommy (Mom)
Stefanie, 

Why do I have to have u as a memory? I want u here with me in body not just mind.  Memories you hold in your heart and mind. You can't hold memories with your arms. Memories do not talk to you. Memories can't talk to you and say I love you  mommy. They can't hug you and say thanks for always being there for me mom, for never giving up on me. It is not fair for you to be gone. It should be me before you.  I just want to scream everyday at people, asking them if they know how I feel, how I hate living, how I hate feeling like this everyday of my life. The saying it gets better with time is a lie. I feel worse everyday I wake up.  I want to scream over & over again. I am hurting so bad. I want to hold you, see ur sweet smile. smell your sweet smell. kiss you, talk to you.  There has not been one day that I have not cried for you. The frustration of not having you here is so unbearable at times that I think I can't take it anymore. Then I have to remember that I have Christina & Ashley and they need me to guide them through there lives. They need me as I need them to get through the heartache, the loniless of not having you in ur lives, in body. You will always be in your lives, because you are a part of us.  I will fight for you until the day I die. I will never ever let anyone hurt you ever again. 

I am so sorry I could not protect you that night. I relive it everyday of my life.  Someday he will have to stand in front of his maker to answer to his sins. It will then be up to him of what his punishment should be for all eternity.  It is unfair that he gets to go on with his life. 

How happy you always made me. I so very proud of you I am.  My love for you could not be anymore powerful. I love you with everything I am. 

I believe in heaven, because I already live in hell. There could be no other place as bad as this.  Until we are together again, my sweet baby girl, Forever & foralways loving you, Mommy Close

Thinking of Stefanie  / Teri Drebit (Jaime's Mom)

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Always in Our Hearts & MInd  / Diane/ Mom To Angel Jimmy Brozzetti


Stefanie
You are always in prayers, Thinking of you and keeping your memory alive.
Peace & Love
Diane ( Jimmy's Mom Forever) Close

Please tell me you got the killer??????????????-????????????  / Brenda Sister Of Angel Jodi Arehart
I pray that the killer was caught and is serving life or up for the death penalty? God bless your precious family. What a beautiful angel!!!
Love and prayers,
Brenda Collins Close

4th / Gail Mom Crystal Earnhart (^l^ friends )
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Anniversary Thoughts & prayers for a beautiful Angel...  / Garnet Jenkins (Mom to Angel Julia Hadcock )
                This is a very difficult date, 
              Please know you are in my 
               thoughts and prayers....

                           
            Those we love can never be,
             more than a thought apart,
            As long as there's a memory,
              They live on in our heart
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HAPPY FATHER'S DAY  / Debbie Wengert Kevin's Mom

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Missing you...  / Spring (Friend)
Stefanie - Thank you for visiting me in my dreams last night - how wonderful it was to see your smile and hear your laugh. It was so hard to wake up and have the reality set in that it's been a year since I've seen you. It seems like yesterday you were in the office talking about your new job and showing off your new car - you seemed so happy and that's the way I will always remember you. In the short time you were here with us you touched so many people - and I am grateful that we had the opportunity to become friends. May you be at peace and please continue to watch over us all. You are a beautiful woman and don't you ever forget that! With much love my friend. Close

Dry Your Tears .............  / Jane Smith


Dearest Tammy,
   I received this from a friend and I wanted to share this with you.
Believe me, I know how you feel, I've been there and I am STILL THERE, but, I can picture Adam being so frustrated about keeping his candle lit and at times, this little thought helps to dry up my tears.  Maybe you will receive the same feeling from this:

Stefanie is sitting up in heaven with a candle that
is not burning.

All the angels are encouraging her to join them and light her candle, but each day Stefanie's  candle remains unlit

The angels ask her why and finally she tells them:
"Everytime I light my candle, my Mom's tears put it out."

Dry your tears sweet friend. 

With Love,
 Jane Smith
 Mom of ADAM JOSEPH SMITH


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Thinking of you  / Jo-Ann Pacenta Lauren's Mom (Another broken hearted mom )
My thoughts and prayers will be with you on Sunday. Maybe happy memories of our precious angels will make the day less painful. Lauren always made the day special for me and bought gifts that were so incredibly thoughtful. We are and always will be Stefanie and Lauren's moms. 
Have a gentle mother's day.
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STEFANIE, THINKING OF YOUR PRECIOUS MOTHER  / ROSE GRMA TO ANGEL BRITTANY SYFERT

TAMMY, WISHING YOU A WONDERFUL MOTHER'S DAY

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thinking of you on mothers day  / Connie (sammy 's aunt )




love connie Close

Wishing You a Happy Mother's Day, XO  / Christine Mom2Angel Hendryx
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Stefanie, UR a beautiful Angel, XO  / Christine Mom2Angel Hendryx
Stefanie,

I read your story and am so heartbroken...I can't even begin to imagine what your family & friends have been thru since your life was taken so tragically...I can only offer my friendship and support...I can pray for their broken hearts to be comforted by the peace and joy you now feel every second of the day...as I know that you surround them with it.  Allow them to feel it.  I will be keeping you in my heart and thought always...and please let your Mom know that even though our losses are dramtically different, I am here for her if she ever needs someone to lean on.  May God bless you all.  Sending my love and hugs.  I made a couple of things for you, I thought maybe they might put a little smile on your Mom's face. XO





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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY  / Debbie Wengert (Kevin's Mom )

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Mother's Day is coming soon  / Annette Wappes (Mom of angel Burdett )

ON MOTHER'S DAY AND ALWAYS MAY YOU ALWAYS FEEL MY LOVE,
ALTHOUGH MY BODY'S NOT THERE WITH YOU...
YOUR HEART IS WITH ME UP HERE ABOVE.
PLEASE DON'T THINK OF ME WITH SADNESS, MOMMY FOR I HATE TO SEE YOU CRY,
KNOW THAT I'M BESIDE YOU STILL ALTHOUGH WE SAID GOOD- BYE. 
GOD GAVE TO ME THE MOTHER NO ONE ELSE COULD EVER BE, 
FOR IT WAS YOU WHO TAUGHT ME HOW TO LOVE SO UNSELFISHLY. 
I WILL FOREVER THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU ARE TO ME, 
FOR GOD CHOSE YOU TO BE MY MOTHER AND NO ONE ELSE I'D RATHER IT BE. 
SO THINK OF ME WITH LOVE TODAY AS YOU CELEBRATE THE HONOR OF BEING MY MOTHER.
I'LL BE CELEBRATING TOO,YOU KNOW,
FOR I LOVE YOU LIKE NO OTHER. 
THANK YOU FOR THE LIFE YOU GAVE AND ALL THE LOVE YOU HAVE FOR ME,
KNOW I'M WITH YOU ALWAYS AND YOU'RE THE BEST MOTHER ONE COULD BE. 
I LOVE YOU, DEAREST MOMMY, AND I ASK YOU NOT TO CRY, 
FOR SOMEDAY YOU TOO WILL JOIN ME HERE WHERE WE'LL NEVER SAY GOOD-BYE! 


"WRITTEN BY DAWN ELMORE"

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Happy 22nd Birthday Baby Girl  / Mommy (Mom)
Happy 22nd Birthday Stefanie,

Oh Stef, how I wish you were here to celebrate your birthday and everyday with me. I miss you so much Stefanie. My heart aches for you so much. I think about you everyday and wonder why you. I cry like the rain, I am missing you more & more everyday. Sometimes it so unbearable that I do not think I will make it through.

We all were at the cemetary today to celebrate your birthday with you. Mom, dad, Christina, Ashley & Grandma Pat. Aunt Tonda had stopped by earlier to visit with you. I made your favortie cake like I do every year, funfetti. We lit candles & sang happy birthday to you. Josh & Chelsea came too. I was so over joyed to see them. Especially Josh. It warmed my heart to see him. He remembered your birthday. That really is a special friend. He also wrote a song just for you. I know that you knew that we were all there. Til the day I am with you again I will always be there.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl. 

My love foralways,

Mommy







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Condolences to Stefanie's Mom and her family in honor of her Birthday  / Lori Grosser (friend of Mom and former co-worker )

Dear Stefanie,

Happy Birthday to the beautiful ballerina girl!  My birthday wish for you - is for you to feel and enjoy the peace, serenity and happiness that you were always searching for.  To experience the freedom of the beautiful butterflies that you have always so admired.  And because you are the only one who has the power to do so...to help your mother find that same state of well-being.  Because she so deserves to enjoy a sense of comfort, peace and happiness in her life, while she cherishes her memories of you.  

 Happy birthday to you, and my deepest sympathy and best wishes to you and all of your loved ones.

Love and Peace,
Lori Grosser

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